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March 1, Mon
+ I Blew My Calculus Exam
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10:23 PM
I just blew my Calculus exam today. Math is always an easy subject for me. Usually if I just went through my notes real quick I would still get an A on the exams. Oh well, I did the same thing to prepare for this exam but I blew it. The worst part was I got all the hard things right; all the stuff that we actually learned in this class I got them right. I just missed on all the Trigonometric identities that my last Math teacher didn't have us memorized. All the small stuff. I missed at least 20 points out of 100 on those. I think I'm looking at a C, if lucky maybe a low B. This just ruined my day. I hate it. I'm so mad and disappointed at myself. Math is always one of those subjects that I'm good at. Now I just blew the first exam. I just hope that I'll be able to pull my grades up. Well, I guess there's more to it than just the grade. There's this cute guy called Steve in the class, and apparently he's really good at and into Math. Because last Thursday I was at the Math center trying to figure out the take home question for the exam, and he was there too. We started talking and we figured out the question together. I just thought that maybe if he knew that I'm good at Math, we would be studying together for future exams or something. But now I just blew the chance away. I've been getting A's on all my past Math exams that I didn't really care about. Now this first Math exam that I cared about, that meant something to me, I blew it. And I blew it not on the big stuff but the small stupid Trig. identities. Now Steve is gonna think that I suck at Math. Maybe it was fate. I don't know. I am such an idiot.
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March 5, Fri
+ EphPod Rocks!!
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08:09 PM
Thanks for everyone's comments and encouragements. I got my Calculus exam back on Wednesday. I got a 86%, which is a B. I guess I didn't do as bad as I thought, plus my teacher was kinda loose on the grading. Well, Steve got a 98%, but it doesn't matter anymore. I've thought it through. I'm not gonna spend all day thinking about him and wishing this and hoping that. I would just end up wasting all the time and energy, and hurting myself (by myself) anyway. I've once promised myself not to fall for someone easily anymore. Think about it, What is the chance that someone I like would actually be gay and interested in me at the same time? My chance in winning a lottery might be higher. So ya, I guess I've somehow given up hope on love. I believe in fate when it comes to love. If you guys are meant to be together, you guys will. If not, no matter how hard you try, it just won't happen.
Let's talk about something happier. I got an A on my first English paper, the one about music sharing and downloading. My teacher even wanted a copy of the paper so she can share it with her future classes as an example. I was so suprised and delighted. I mean, I don't even speak perfect English sometimes. It was kinda funny come to think about it.
Also, the iPod USB+firewire cable came on Wednesday. I was having a bit trouble with it at first but eventually got it all figured out. I connected the iPod to my laptop with a USB connection. My Windows detected the iPod and installed it as a portable drive, but the iPod Manager and MusicMatch JukeBox didn't recognize my iPod at all. I went through the entire support section on the Apple website without luck. Finally I got an answer on the discussion forum of the website. It seems that tons of WindowsME users are having the same problem. Even though Apple claims that the 3rd Generation iPod supports both Mac and PC, it doesn't work with a USB connection on WindowsME. On WindowsME connected with a firewire works totally fine, just not with USB. Also, none of other Windows OS has the problem; apparently it's only a WindowsMe problem. So I downloaded this non-official iPod software called EphPod, and it successfully connected to my iPod. I've transferred almost a thousand MP3s onto my iPod since then. I'm in love with my iPod and planning on putting my entire CD collection on it. :)
[PLUGS OF THE MONTH] Sorry I wasn't in the mood of plugging in my last entire, so here you go: Mike (8) / Fallwind (7) / Trent (6) / Karen (6) / Dana (4) / Desiree (4) / Joshie (4) / Erin (4) / Saki (4) / Brandon (3) / Ross (3) / Krys (3) / Scott (3) / Adlin (3) / Faith (2) / John (1) / Paul (1) / Nick (1) / Ari (1) / Nik (1) / Ally (1) / Jason (1) / Sabrina (1) / Amy (1) / Caleb (1) / Chloe (1) / Melissa (1) Thanks for commenting everyone!!
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March 10, Wed
+ Reformatted My Laptop
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03:35 PM
Saturday Beth came out to Santa Cruz and we had lunch and went shopping together. I bought a pair of jeans and a pair of cargo pants. My computer was getting slower and it froze a lot, so I decided to format my computer on Sunday. I have been wanting to do that for a long time, but I didn't feel like backing up all my files into CD-Rs. Since I got the external harddrive, I just moved everything I want onto it. The actual formatting and recovery process was a mess though. I even got to a point that I couldn't use the recovery disk and couldn't get back to Windows at all. Finally I got it to format the harddisk and then used the recovery disk, but the whole thing took me the entire day. Now I'm loving my laptop. I like the feeling of a new beginning. Everything is clean and fresh. Beside that, my weekend was as productive as the last... I didn't get any homework done at all, instead, I've finished like 2 books. I finished up Grim Tuesday on Friday night, immediately started on Geography Club and finished it in one day. I wish I had taken it slowly and enjoyed the book in a longer period of time, but it was just so good that I couldn't put it down. I've heard a lot of great comments and reviews about the book, but I would've never thought that it was that good. Seriously, I recommend everyone who likes to read pick up a copy of it and give it a try. Now I'm reading In the Half Light, which is a relatively long book comparing to the other two. It is also quite dark and depressing too, but definitely an interesting book with insightful thoughts. Anyway, I don't know how I could spend so much time reading for fun and yet don't feel like doing any of the readings for classes.
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March 13, Sat
+ Mike Is Gone
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12:09 AM
Oh man, this has been a long week. School work had kept me busy the first several days of the week. Then yesterday afternoon when I came home from school, one of my roommates, Mike told me that he has decided to move back home, and he did! He sold some of his stuff, left quite a bit of them for us, and packed the rest yesterday. He even gave me his bed 'cause he couldn't bring it home and I've been using an air mattress. He has arranged one of our friends to move in and fill his spot already, so everything was set. All us roommates went out and had a farewell dinner last night. Today I went with him to ship some of his things home 'cause he was planning on taking the plane, so he couldn't really bring that much with him. Then this afternoon he went online and got a ticket for tonight, and now he's gone. In fact, we just took him to the airport. It just happened like that; it was just so quick and sudden that we were all shocked. I still can't believe that he is actually gone. Well, I support his decision 'cause that is the best for him, but I can't help but feeling sad. Goodbye is never a happy thing to say, especially to friends. But I guess after this semester, we are all gonna go to different university and go on with our lives anyway, Mike just took off several months before us. All I've to say is best of luck to him and try our best to keep in touch.
10:40 PM
Sunday night, me and my roommate Brandon went and rented two movies, Identity and The Core. We watched Identity that night. It was an awesome thriller I must say. I loved the twists, especially the one of the whole truth and the one at the end. I was really impressed by all the mystery and psychological things. I actually learned about multi-personalities in my Psychology class last semester, but I've never seen it actually "act" out like this, so it was pretty cool. We haven't seen The Core yet, maybe sometime this week.
My Calculus 2 class is kicking my ass! We had a pop quiz yesterday and I think I blew it. I wasn't even keeping up with the homework at all, 'cause the teacher never collect them. This is like the first Math class to kick my ass. Math was usually an easy subject for me up until this point. So in order to catch up, I've stayed at school after my classes yesterday and today to catch up with my homework. Even though the teacher never collect them, it really helps a lot to do all the homework questions.
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March 20, Sat
+ Weekend In Santa Clara
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11:40 PM
I've spent the rest of this week staying at school after classes to catch up with my Calculus homework. I was making quite a progress I must say. Too bad the progress stopped right when the weekend hit. I knew that I couldn't get any work done when I'm at home 'cause there're just way too many distractions; there're just way to many things I can do that're more fun than doing Math homework, or homework from any other subject for that matter. I ended up doing nothing Yesterday, nothing considered productive at least. Played around with my iPod, fixed up the member database of Remember Matthew, watched a movie at night, and that was all. Talk about the movie, yes, I've watched The Core late last night. It was pretty good, the idea and such. The visual effects were kinda disappointing though.
Today I went to the mall. At first I was going to pick up a copy of Sondre Lerche's new album Two Way Monologue, but it was like $18 at the mall, so I guess I'll just order mine off Amazon or something. I ended up spending 2 hours reading a book called Give a Boy a Gun at a bookstore. That book was disturbing but great. I didn't finish it though 'cause I got a call from Tim halfway through it. Tim was in Santa Cruz so he was wondering would I be interested in going to Santa Clara and hang out with him and Beth for a day or two. Of course I said yes. I couldn't wait to get out of Santa Cruz. It's just so boring here, especially when my roommates aren't exactly my type of friends and we don't really hang out that much. He went to the mall, picked me up, and gave me a ride back to my apartment so I could pack a few shirts. Then we headed out to Santa Clara. So I'm actually typing this on Tim's computer right now. We just got back from a movie. We watched Secret Window tonight. It was alright; I would rather watch The Passion of the Christ, 50 First Dates, or Dawn of the Dead though, but Tim and Beth have seen the first two already, and the last one is too gory for Beth. Oh well, I haven't gone to a movie in like forever, probably since last Christmas, so I'm not complaining or anything.
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March 24, Wed
+ A Movies Filled Weekend
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01:58 AM
I'm so tired right now. I just got done with my Java Programming homework. It took me almost 5 hours to figure out all those craps. I really don't like computer much when it comes to programming. I swear next time I'll start my homework earlier, not wait until the night before to do it... Oh ya right. I've said that sentence like at least a hundred times before, but a procrastinator can never change...
Anyway, Sunday I went to another movie with Beth. We watched 50 First Dates. It was pretty good I must say. Usually I'm not a big fan for comedies, 'cause most of the time they lack actual content and meaning. But 50 First Dates is different. It's a comedy with meaning; funny, entertaining, and yet heart-warming also. Drew Barrymore has a great performance in it too. Not to mention it also got an awesome soundtrack. Then we rented Duplex that night, which is another comedy featuring Drew Barrymore (just couldn't get enough of her, was I?). It was just alright, somewhat kind of annoying. You'll understand what I meant by annoying if you've seen the movie. Beth took me back to Santa Cruz on Monday morning, just in time for me to get some of my homework done and get ready for class.
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March 28, Sun
+ A Long Week
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12:51 PM
I'm sorry I don't post as much as I used to now. Sometimes I'm just lazy; sometimes I just don't have the time to do it. This past week I've been staying at school after classes every day to keep up with my Calculus homework, even on Saturday. Yes, I went to school yesterday afternoon to do my Calculus homework and get some study done. Next Wednesday I have two midterms, one for Calculus and one for Java Programming. I hate it when the teachers schedule the exams on the same day. It's like they all get together and decide on an exam day or something. Anyway, that's why I needed to get all my Calculus homework caught up and study for them this week, 'cause I'll have to study for Java Programming next week. I'm really proud of myself. This last week was like the most productive week I had since the beginning of this semester. Well, I've gotten my second English paper back on Thursday, and guess what? I got a C-. Yes, a fuckin' C-. I got an A on my first paper and I got a C- on my second one... I don't blame the teacher. It's all the result of my laziness. I didn't put in any time into my second paper; I got it done like the night before it was due and I didn't even meet the pages requirement. The Calculus pop quiz last week and this second English paper were kind of wake up calls for me. In my entire two and a half year college life, I've never gotten lower than a B- on a paper. This's my last semester for my A.A., and I'm not gonna let it screw up my GPA. If I could do it for two and a half years, I can certainly do it for another three months.
Talking about A.A. I've missed the deadline for applying for an A.A. The deadline was last Friday. I went to the counselor office last Wednesday but my counselor was sick and she wasn't there that day. So instead of going to a different counselor I decided to try again the next day, 'cause my counselor has all my information and knows everything about my plan and such. But I was working on my homework the next day and wasn't aware of the time. By the time I was done and remembered I needed to go to the counselor office, the office had already closed. So I went again Friday afternoon, but the stupid counselor office closed early on Friday and I missed it AGAIN. Now I'm gonna go to the counselor first thing on Monday and I just hope that she will let me do it. If not, I'm fucked.
Yesterday afternoon after I came back from studying, I decided to give myself a day off after a long week, and not do or think about anything school-related and just relax. I've rented Final Destination 2 last night. It was pretty good I must say, the ways those people die are way worse than the first one. I kept holding myself back from screaming and covering my eyes. It was just crazy. Today I think I'm gonna go to the mall and maybe pick up a CD or two, just relax and do something that I like to do.
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March 29, Mon
+ Emo/Punk CDs
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11:59 PM
So guess what I got at the mall yesterday. Well, I got two CDs; Something Corporate's North and Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue. They were both on sale too; $23 for both of them. I've ripped all the songs from both CDs onto my computer and then downloaded them all onto my iPod. I've been listening to them like all day long yesterday and today. Something Corporate and Yellowcard are going on tour together. In fact, they're going to Fresno tomorrow and Chico on Thursday. They're awesome emo/punk bands. I wish I could go to either one concert. I would definitely go if I have a car. It sucks big time not being able to drive. Oh well, I've two midterms coming this Wednesday anyway, I should just focus on school.
Today I got Sondre Lerche's Two Way Monologue in the mail. I've ordered it off eBay last week. But I'm in the emo/punk mood lately, so I guess I'll just wait 'til my indie-pop mood comes back to listen to it. Today before my Calculus class, Steven and I were talking about a take-home question for our second exam. We were standing very close to each other outside of the classroom. I was like gosh... get away, don't tempt me! I felt like I was gonna hug and kiss him right there. I know I said I won't let myself fall for anyone easily anymore. But it's easier said than done. He's always on my mind lately. I've even dreamed about him last week. The harder I try not to think about him, the more he comes to my mind. Gosh, that's one of the worst tortures right there; liking someone and knowing he doesn't think about you the same way you think about him, and that you can never have him. Okay, enough talking about him... if I don't stop I'm afraid that I would go on forever. I've started working on the portfolio section for dabs tonigth. I've scanned all my sketches off my sketchbook before the winter break, but I never get around to actually fix them up and put them on the site. I'm starting to do it now, and hopefully by the end of this week they'll all be up. Please check back for the updates.
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March 30, Tue
+ Artwork Portfolio Finished
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08:35 PM
I worked on the portfolio section for this site until 2:00am last night/this morning, and then I spent the entire afternoon today to finish it up. Yep, the artwork section is now finally done. I've uploaded most of the sketches I've scanned. Go check them out and tell me what do you think, alright?
Anyway, I don't even know how could I spent all these time working on it when I have two exams tomorrow. I'm not too worry about Calculus 'cause I've spent alot of time last week doing homework and studying. But I really really have to study for Java Programming though. I can write a program alright at home when I've lots of time to spend and the textbook and all those notes, but I don't think I'll be able to do it in an exam setting without all those helps. Anyway, wish me luck and don't forget to check out my portfolio.
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March 31, Wed
+ Procrastination Sucks!
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11:08 PM
I'm finally aware that school doesn't really give me much stress, I'm the one who constantly putting myself in that stressful position, because I PROCRASTINATE!! My procrastination has reached a new high. I don't just procrastinate on school work, I even procrastinate on University application stuff. Tomorrow is the deadline for sending financial declaration documents and partial transcript to San Jose State, and I wait 'til today to send out the documents and go to my school to request a partial transcript to be sent. What was I thinking!? Well, I guess because I don't really want to go to San Jose State; I applied for it more or less as a back up school. That's why I don't really care nor pay much attention to it. But still, what if I can't get in the other two schools I've applied? Then I'll be screwed! I really hate myself for waiting until the last minute to do everything! I need to be more responsible, especially with important stuff like that. Anyway, today I also went to my counselor to file my A.A. I've missed last Friday's deadline, but she said she'll try to submit it for me. Even if it doesn't work, I'll just "officially" receive my A.A. a semester late. She said it's not gonna affect my transferring or anything, so I'm not too worry about that.
Today I've two exams. One for Calculus and one for Java Programming. The Calculus one was easy, but the highest I can get is a 90% because I was so stupid that I fucked up one problem that I know exactly how to do. I just wasn't thinking straight and I fucked it up. The worst part was I knew I messed up RIGHT AFTER I turned the exam in. I fuckin' hate myself! Why do I make stupid mistake like that!? So I just missed another chance to impress Steven. I guess it's not so much about impressing him but trying to feel closer to his level. I don't know, he's really good at Math, so I feel like if I'm good at Math too maybe he will like me. Aw... fuck it! Why do I even care anymore? Have I forgotten what I promised myself!? Anyway, my Java Programming midterm was even worse. We have 25 multiple choice questions, which is 50% of the exam. I know that I only got 46% right 'cause we did those on the computer and it gave you the score right away. The other 50% is consist of 4 program-writing questions. I think I got the first 3 right but I definitely didn't get the last one, which is worth 20%. So now the highest score I can get for this midterm will be 76%. If the teacher is nice and give me partial credit for the last question, then maybe I'll have a B.
Aw... What am I doing!? I've gone through 2 years of college with straight A's, and now this is my last semester and I'm about to screw up all my classes!! I don't even have a big load of classes this semester; I'm only taking 11 units for God's sake! First I got an 86% on my first Calculus exam, then I got a C- on my second English paper, now I just messed up my second Calculus exam and the Java Programming midterm. Why can't I just keep up with all the classes like I had been doing for 2 years!? I really don't want to mess up my GPA right before I get my A.A.
Well, thanks for everyone who has checked out and commented on my sketches. For those of you who haven't check out my portfolio yet, please go take a look and let me know what do you think. Peace.
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