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April 1, Thu
+ The Long-Awaited Spring Break
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11:29 PM
I only had an English class this morning, and we got our 3rd paper back. I frickin' get a B- on it! I went to talk to the teacher after class and asked her about my last two papers. She basically said that I need to further develope my argument, dig deeper into the topic. Since I got an A on my first paper, she said I can rewrite those 2 papers and turn them in again for a higher grade. I'll definitely do that during this Spring Break. Anyway, that was my last class before Spring Break, so my break has basically started. I went to the computer lab on campus to scan some of my recent sketches, so hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to put them up here. Afterward, I went to downtown Santa Cruz and stayed there until like 8:30pm at night. I spent several hours at Borders going through their CD collection and their magazine stands. Finally I only picked up a copy of AP. Then I went to a couple local music stores. I was gonna get Yellowcard's One For The Kids for $13, but then as I about to leave I saw that there was a sale on used CDs. All used CDs were only $5 or under, and if you get 3 of them you get the 4th one free. So I got Taking Back Sunday's Tell All Your Friends, The Calling's Camino Palmero, Justincase's Justincase, and Seven and the Sun's Back to the Innocence instead. All 4 CDs only cost me $14; pretty good deal, huh? I also got a used The Real World - You Never Saw: Paris DVD for $10. Well, I gotta stock up for this break, you know.
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April 3, Sat
+ Getting Drunk
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03:05 PM
Yesterday afternoon me, Vladi, and Eli went to watch Hellboy. It was different than what I thought it would be, but it was really good I must say. I was surprised that it was so religious, not explicitly of course. There were so many hidden messages and meanings, and the whole idea basically based on the Christian belief. Like how we have choices, and it's our choices determine who we are (and where we'll go after life) not where we came from. The whole "Hellboy was originally a demon sent from hell to destroy our world, but at the end he made the right choice and saved the world instead" thing kind of symbolizes that we are all born sinners but if we made the "right" choice (believing in God) we'll be accepted at the end. Also, how the professor accepted and treated Hellboy as his own son and never gave him up kind of like how we'll always be God's sons no matter what. These are just a couple that are obvious and stand out. I don't know, am I reading too much into the movie? Well, the special effects were really well done though, especially the customs and makeups.
Eli is 21, so he's old enough to buy alcohols. Last night we had him bought some back, and me and my 3 roommates just got trashed. I mean, I've been to parties and drank every once a while before, but I'd never drank myself to a point that considered drunk, 'cause I'm kinda allergic to alcohol especially beer, like I'll turn really red and I'll feel sick to my stomach. So last night was kinda my first time getting real drunk. I didn't drank any beer; I took 3 shots and drank 3 bottles of hard lemonade. My skin still got pretty red, but at least I didn't feel sick or anything at all. It was weird. I don't really remember the details of what happened. According to my roommates, I was really funny last night, and I was running around and talked a lot. I even remember I went online and sent random messages to people. It was pretty fun until towards the end, I had this bad headache and my head won't stop spinning. I went to bed like around 2am and woke up around 11am this morning. Luckily I don't have a hangover or anything.
[PLUGS OF THE MONTH] Sorry I forgot to do the monthly pluggage last time. Well, here you go. A huge thank to all my commenters, especially the ones who checked out my artwork portfolio. Mike (11) / Karen (10) / Sammas (7) / Joshie (5) / Trent (4) / Krys (4) / Scott (4) / Fallwind (3) / Desiree (3) / Erin (3) / Caleb (3) / Netti (3) / Saki (2) / Car (2) / Cathy (2) / Jackie (2) / Lei (2) / Rachel (2) / Skindy (2) / Ross (1) / John (1) / Paul (1) / Nick (1) / Cezanne (1) / Crazy Waterfall (1) / Crystal (1) / Dee (1) / Faith (1) / Fiona (1) / Melissa (1) / Riley (1)
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April 5, Mon
+ Local Punk Band Website
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01:56 AM
I uploaded seven more sketches. They're all pretty recent. So please go check them out in my portfolio section and let me know what do you think. Didn't really do much this weekend. Saturday was a total waste of time. Just hung out and watched TV with my roommates all day long; didn't get a thing done. Sunday was a bit more productive. I made a layout for a local punk band. The lead singer, Rafael, is in my Calculus class, and I said I would help them out with their website. But I was occupied with schoolwork that I didn't really have time to work on it until now. I've only finished the layout and coded it. I haven't really done any content yet. I'm just gonna let Rafael take a look, and if he likes it then I'll go ahead and get the site done for him. For those of you who really really really wanna see it before it's done, an exclusive sneak-peek is available here.
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April 6, Tue
+ Sleep Too Much
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11:50 PM
I slept for more than 12 hours last night. Seriously, I went to bed at around 2:30am this morning, and I woke up at 4pm this afternoon. I've no idea what's wrong with me. I've never slept that much before, and it's not like I've been doing anything big or stressful. I'm on spring break for God's sake. I really need to change my sleeping pattern. I'm wasting all my daytime; it starts to get dark like several hours after I woke up. How ridiculous is that?
Anyway, I got The Ataris's End is Forever in the mail yesterday. It's an awesome CD. The lyrics are great. Oh man, I've gotten so many CDs this month I don't even have time to listen to them all. I updated my cam picture also. The last one was up for more than 5 months. Oh well, it's not like I've changed much anyway. Rafael has checked out the layout I made for them, and he said he liked the layout alot. So I'm gonna fix up their site for them some time soon. Beside that I kinda wanna make a new layout for Dabs too. I like the current layout alot but I think I'm getting a bit tired of it. Well, I have so many things I need to do but somehow I managed to get nothing done yesterday and today. I know it's spring break and I should just relax and enjoy, but hey, I still have to do all the journal entries that I've been neglecting since the beginnng of this semester for English and rewrite my last two papers for higher grades. Just think about them makes me feel tired...
10:01 PM
 I watched Gothika last night. It was pretty scary, not only visually but psychologically as well. I watched it in my room on the computer with all the lights turned off, 'cause my roommates were playing PS2 out in the living room. The movie made me jumped so many times.
Today I kinda finished up the site for Rafael's band. I've taken out that 4 guys on the layout at his request, because it wasn't them. The layout was intended to be temporary until he has taken some pictures of the band anyway. I just hope that they can get the pictures to me soon so I can incorporate them into the layout. The site is pretty simple and plain right now. I think I'm having a major designer block. Once I got more ideas and such, I'll remake the layout and really get the site done for them. So don't look for a new layout for Dabs anytime soon. I don't know, I'm just not in the mood of making any layout. I think I know why though. I'm procrastinating on schoolwork... and yet I'm not doing other stuff I enjoy doing, simply because I feel bad and guilty for doing them instead of schoolwork. This just makes things worse 'cause basically I'm not getting anything done at all.
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April 9, Fri
+ Unconditional Love?
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11:59 PM
Beth came out to Santa Cruz this afternoon. She and Tim picked out this yellow Billabong polo shirt, plus a whole bunch of chocolate and candies for me for Easter. I was totally surprised 'cause I'm so not used to getting presents for Easter. I feel bad though 'casue I didn't get them anything at all. Well, they're just way too nice. We had lunch together, and since Beth has to work tonight, she headed back out to Santa Clara right after that. I stayed at the mall and looked around for a little bit. Didn't get anything though. I've bought quite a few CDs this month, and I think it's time for me to stop spending money again.
My roommates went up north tonight, so I got the whole apartment to myself. Finally I gotta spend some alone time, and seriously I need it. It's not like I don't like my roommates or anything. We're just too different to hang out together; we don't share any common interests at all. Simply put, they're just not my type of friends, and vice versa. Usually when they're at home, they would be either watching TV or playing PS2, so I wouldn't be able to watch the shows that I like watching. Tonight I finally got a chance to watch whatever I want. Too bad nothing much was on. After flipping through the channels, I settled on this little kid baseball movie called Rookie of the Year. When I first started watching it, I didn't even know the name of the movie. The reason I picked it was because Thomas Ian Nicholas was in it. You know, Kevin from the American Pie series. Well, he was way younger in this movie anyway. It turned out to be a petty funny, relaxing, little kid movie. Usually I wouldn't like this kind of movies, but I guess it kinda took my mind off a lot of things for a while. I've been quite down and stressed out lately. There're just a lot of things on my mind. I don't really want to talk about them right now, even if I wanted to I wouldn't know where to begin. Maybe sometime later when I've the chance, I'll spill them all out.
A really interesting question came to mind earlier this evening. You know how people always say that a person will do anything to protect and make the one he/she loved happy? I'm just wondering, what if the person you loved would never love you back, or what if they would never know what you had done for them, then would you still do anything to protect and make the person you loved happy? I don't know, can love really be unconditional?
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April 11, Sun
+ How Life Used To Be
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03:03 PM
Our landlord is moving into the apartment beside ours. So lately she has been moving alot of her stuff into it. Yesterday when I was doing laundry, I saw her carrying big boxes of books upstair (our apartment is on the 2nd floor), so I offered to help her. I ended up moving most of her stuff upstair for her. When we were done, she started talking about all kinds of things to me, and she showed me an old photo album of her son and such. It was kinda funny. She's actually a pretty nice person.
My roommates came back last night. They weren't too happy with their trip up north. Apparently the guy they went with just kinda left them at a party and went around doing his own thing. So they were stuck with a bunch of people they didn't even know. Well, I'm glad I didn't go with them. Last night I finally started doing some schoolwork. Seriously, I've so many assignments I need to do it's not even funny. I've a English paper due Tuesday, and I've to rewrite my last 2 papers for higher grades, plus a 40 page journal due next Tuesday. On top of that, I've to write a program for Java Programming that's due this Wednesday. Last night I've only done 5 pages out of the total 40 page journal. I've absolutely no idea how am I gonna pull it off this time. My original plan was to finish at least 20 pages and rewrite that 2 papers in this Spring break... seems like my mission has failed, unless I somehow get the 2 rewrites done and do another 15 page journal entries today, which is almost impossible.
Anyway, I went to bed at around 2am last night. I couldn't go to sleep and just rolled around on my bed. I've been pretty stressed out lately, over not just schoolwork but various things as well. Whenever I'm stressed out, I become depressed as well. I feel lonely and helpless because my family and friends are not around and I've to take care of all the things myself. I suddenly realized how much I've changed since I first came back to the U.S. for college. I remembered how I used to be like and how I used to feel. I used to be this carefree, cheerful, innocent person with lots of friends. Life used to be hopeful and fun. Everyone was nice and good-hearted in my eyes. Now it feels like I've seen the world; I've been exposed to responsibilities and the dark side of people. Life isn't fun anymore and people aren't always as friendly as they appear to be. I even hate certain people for what they've done to me, and in the past I wouldn't even get mad at anyone easily. My perspective has changed a whole lot. I changed from that carefree, cheerful boy to a guy who just try to get through life. What happened? I haven't felt like how I used to for a long time, somehow I've forgotten that feeling and perspective. But last night I remembered. I don't know, it was just like God suddenly took all the worries and stresses off my shoulders. I don't even hate those certain people anymore. Dislike them, yes, but I don't hate them. Hate is a really strong emotion you know. I've also figured out alot of things, and remembered what is really important. Afterall, life is really open to your interpretation. It all depends on how you look at it and how you want it to be. It's really weird, I just figured out all of those last night when I was in bed. It was like I got struck by lighting and have been given a new life (or a new perspective in life at least). I ended up falling sleep around 4:30am I think. Then today when I woke up at 1:30pm, I remembered it's Easter today. Well, if it wasn't God, I really don't know what it was.
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April 12, Mon
+ Fame-Loving, Cocky Bastard
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11:55 PM
Spring break is finally over; today's our first day back to school. I was kinda excited to some extent, because I gotta see Steven. Besides, breaks are fun only if you're going somewhere or actually have something to do. Long breaks with nothing to do are just hella boring. They mess up your sleeping pattern and don't keep you on track, at least they do in my case. Anyway, Rafael burned two CDs for me -- Brand New's Your Favorite Weapon and Matchbook Romance's Stories and Alibis. They're both great CDs and I've been wanting to get them. I ripped all the songs off the two CDs onto my iPod tonight. Also, I've been downloading a lot of songs these past few days, mostly emo/punk stuff. I'm really getting into that genre, especially those that have good lyrics.
We got our last Calculus exam back today. I got a 90%. It was alright. I could've done better though. The teacher said that this's the hardest of all 4 exams for this course, and only a handful of people got an A on it. Me being one of them makes me feel happy! (Man, I'm such a fame-loving, cocky bastard! LOL) I've a 88% average in Calculus right now, hopefully I'll be able to pull it up to an A in the next exam and the final. I'm an overachiever if you haven't figured it out yet. Steven only got a 80% though, because of all those minor stupid mistakes. I could tell he was really disappointed (just like last time I was), and man... he was so cute when he was down that I just wanna run over to him and give him a big hug and tell him that it's alright.
Getting a good grade on the exam and seeing Steven just made my day. I was in this fine mood the rest of the day. I cooked a big dinner and just relaxed and chilled tonight. I have a paper for English due tomorrow, and sure I didn't work on it at all, and it was suppose to be like 5-6 pages. So I've decided to just turn in an old paper I've written for my previous English class. Well, the one that I picked was like 11 pages, so I edited it down to 6 pages. This is my first time doing it, so I hope the teacher won't find out. I don't really like the teacher anyway, so I shouldn't feel bad cheating her. Besides, it's not like I use someone else's paper. I wrote that paper myself before, and people use their papers for various classes all the time. My Philosophy teacher couple semesters ago even taught us how to do that. Yes, it's all cool. I think I've found enough excuses to make myself not feel bad.
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April 13, Tue
+ Great Shows I Used to Watch
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11:36 PM
Today was probably the first day I woke up before 10:30am since last two weeks. I had a class at 11:10am today, so I set my alarm clock to 9am last night, but I just couldn't get up until around 10:15am. Well, hopefully I'll get my sleeping pattern straight again. Nothing special happened today, except that one of my roommates, Vladi came back today after going home for the spring break. I got out of class at around 12:30pm and I came straight home to do my Java Programming assignment that's due tomorrow. I started working on it around 3pm and got it all done at around 6:30pm. I'm so proud of myself. Usually I wouldn't start it until late at night and then work 'til like 3 or 4am in the morning, but this time I didn't procrastinate. Also, when I went on the course website to get the homework assignment, I found out that I got a 95% on my Java Programming midterm. I'm extremely happy about that 'cause I was expecting something around 80-85%. So, I freed up the entire night, but instead of rewriting my two papers or catching up with some journal entries for English, I just sat there and watched TV... wasted the entire night. Well, I shouldn't say it was wasted. At least I caught One Tree Hill. I miss all those great shows I used to watch. My roommates are always watching stupid stuff on TV, so I can't really watch anything I like (which they think is stupid). Well, I wish TheWB would issues DVD boxed sets for One Tree Hill, Everwood, and 7th Heaven. If they do, I'll definitely get them all. Seriously, they're like some of the best shows on TV nowadays. But then again, what do I know? I don't even watch much TV anymore.
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April 14, Wed
+ Bittersweet Symphony
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11:23 PM
Today I woke up at 11:30am even though I set my alarm to 10am. Then I went to the post office and mailed out a few CDs that I burned for Tim and Beth. Since they got me that Easter basket with lots of goodies, I feel like I should somehow give them back something to show my appreciation. After that my roommate Brandon gave me a ride to school. I had Calculus at 2:30pm. Right before I left, I checked my cellphone and got a message from Leo, one of my best friends in Hong Kong. He called earlier when I was still in bed and left me a really funny message. It cracked me up; it's just one of those little messages/supports you need from a friend every once a while. Oh man, I miss my friends back in Hong Kong. I can't wait 'til this summer when I go back to visit and hangout with them again.
I got to school at around 2:10pm, and Steven and his friend were there already, so I started talking to them. We had a nice long conversation. I found out that he's into computer just like me (I would have never guessed that, seriously), and he knows C++, and he thinks himself is a geek, and he just turned 21 exactly two weeks ago, and his birthday is March 31st 1983, and this's his last semester also, and that he's transfering to UCSC this fall, and that he's an Earth Science major, and he owns almost all Green Day CDs, and yes, he's so cute and good-looking that I could just sit there and listen to him forever! We have so much in common (Well, not really. But at least we both like computer and listen to the same kind of music). The more I know about him, the more I like him. Oh my gosh, he was just sitting right beside me and we were so close that I wanted to hug and kiss him so bad. Aw... it was probably one of the happiest moments I've had in this semester. Now all that is on my mind is I can't wait 'til next Monday so I can see and talk to Steven again. Why am I doing this to myself? Getting myself into all of this? Why can't I just stop and fucking take my mind off people that I know I'll never have a chance with. I will just end up hurting myself anyway. During our conversation, I almost tempted to tell him about my blog, but then I don't want him to read what I've written about him on here. I just couldn't risk it. What if he thinks it's disturbing or disgusting and won't even talk to me anymore? But then again, if he's not gay, I wouldn't even have a chance anyway, so what's the difference? I don't know. I don't know what to do and that's why I HATE falling for people. It's such a bittersweet symphony. On one hand, you've that warm tingling feeling of liking someone. On the other hand, you hurt so bad because you can't tell them how you feel. It sucks. Every single time when I fall for someone, I keep telling myself that maybe, just maybe this time he's gay and that he might likes me as well. Why am I keep giving myself unrealistic hopes? Why am I keep torturing myself? Aw... God helps me!
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April 18, Sun
+ Sea Otter Classic
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01:59 AM
Thanks so much for everyone's comments and advices on my last entry. I really appreciate them and I'm glad that there are actually people out there who support me. Thanks a lot, guys & girls!!
Anyway, last several days were alright. Thursday and Friday I didn't do much; just stayed at home watching some old DVDs with Vladi, and rewrote my last paper. Yes, I actually did some schoolwork. Then this morning (or yesterday morning if you prefer, since it's past midnight already) Beth called me and woke me up at 9am. We had planned to go to this huge bicycle event called Sea Otter Classic down in Monterey. There were so many people, and we saw a lot of professional, sponsored bikers. There were regular racing as well as people doing jumps and tricks and stuff. One of the highlights was this biker who rode his bike off this 50 feet jump off. It was just crazy and mad awesome, not to mention that there were a lot of hot bikers. We stayed until 2:30pm then headed back to Santa Clara with Beth. I basically just hung out and chilled at her apartment. Then tonight we went and watched The Girl Next Door. It was really different than what I thought it would be, but it was pretty good nonetheless.
You know what, there's one thing though. This past several days I've been thinking about Steven alot. I just couldn't take him off my mind. I tried to keep myself busy, but whatever I do, my mind just drift back to him... I hope that Monday will come sooner. Anyway, here's a special pluggage to everyone who has given me advices regarding Steven: Cezanne, Mike, Cathy, Lei, Thiri, and especially to Dave. Well, I'm gonna go watch Kill Bill Vol.1 on DVD with my roommates right now, later guys.
[ADDED 03:07PM] Last night me and my roommates all fell sleep about halfway through the movie, so we woke up and finish the second half this afternoon. In fact, I just finished watching it. I mean, the movie is different than most major Hollywood movies nowadays and it's pretty cool I must say. But I really don't get what is the big deal about it? Why is everyone talking about it and such? To me, it's a good movie and I like it, but it's definitely not on my top-ten list.
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April 20, Tue
+ The Result of Procrastination
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02:20 PM
OMG, I'm dead tired right now. These several days are nothing but assignments. Remember all the works I needed to do for English 2? I got them all done in 2 days. I rewrote my last 2 papers on Sunday, and I stayed up until 4am this morning to finish the 40 page journal that's due today. Crazy, am I? I still can't believe that I've actually pulled it off. I just hope that the teacher won't go through the journal entries in details. I've gotten my last paper back, and I got a B++ on it. I think I'm gonna rewrite it a bit and add some more stuff to it so I can get an A. Yesterday I went to my Calculus class early just so that I've more time to talk to Steven, 'cause every time he's always there before me. We only got like 5 mins before everyone else showed up. Aw... I wish that they would never show up, so I could talk to Steven forever. Anyway, I think I'm gonna take a nap since I've only had like 5 or 6 hours of sleep last night. Later tonight I still need to write a program that's due tomorrow for Java Programming. I'm just super busy with school, but I can't really blame anyone but my own procrastinate nature.
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April 21, Wed
+ Day of Silence '04
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12:55 AM
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April 22, Thu
+ Two Awesome Days
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06:04 PM
OMG! These two days are awesome. Well, where do I begin? Alright, yesterday right before Calculus 2, I was doing a take-home quiz with Stephen (yes, I found out that his name is spelled Stephen, not Steven), and we got to class like 10 mins late and missed an in-class pop-quiz. But it was only 10 points, so it wasn't a big deal. I would've been pissed, but the fact that I was working out the take-home quiz with Stephen just make everything alright. Halfway through our class, the entire campus went out of power. I guess it was the entire area also. Anyway, other classes they got out early, but our Calculus 2 professor is crazy, so he took a whiteboard outside and we continued our class outdoor. After our class, the power still didn't come back yet, and I had a Java Programming class later that night, so I wasn't sure would I still have to go to class or would the class be canceled. And here's the good part, Stephen had a Chemistry lab later that night also. So we decided to go outside and get some Calculus homework done. That was like the best moment. We were sitting outside under a sunny blue sky, talking about Calculus (well, I wished we were talking about something else, but actually I didn't really care as long as we're talking). I know yesterday was supposed to be the Day of Silence, but that was Stephen we're talking about here, so how could I resist? Then later my Java Programming instructor called to let me know that the class was canceled. So I went with Stephen to check if his Chemistry lab was canceled as well, but I guess because Chemistry lab has its own generator in case of emergency power-out or something, so his class wasn't canceled. I just stayed and talked with him until his class began. I've found out so many things about him. He's a huge computer geek like I used to. I was so surprised to find someone in the U.S. who knows what a DOS is and how we used to have to set up the config and autoexec to run the mouse and CD-Rom drivers in order to play games in DOS. Actually he knows more about computer than I do. We just talked about all the computer games we used to play and such. And at the end I asked for his screen name. Yep, I did. Now I can keep in touch with him outside of classroom. Then today we both went to the Math Center at our college to work on our homework after our classes, 'cause we have another exam coming next Wednesday. Anyway, after I got back from school around 2pm, I went to the beach with Eli. It was so hot today and the beach is only 15 mins walking distance away, so might as well. We just played a little bit football, had a slice of pizza and some ice-cream. It was fun, you just need to get out of the apartment every once a while, you know.
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April 23, Fri
+ Write For No One But Myself
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11:58 PM
I started working on a new layout last night. I had these great ideas on my head, but the layout turned out not as nice as I thought it would. I'm a bit disappointed. I mean, I'll still get it coded and put it up sometime this weekend, but please don't expect too much. I think I might have to close up my blog or change the address cause my roommate Vladi's girlfriend, Jenny has found the url. I mean, she was nice enough to ask if she could go check it out. I just told her that I was making a new layout so she should go after it's done. I don't know did she really come check it out or not. I just hope she didn't or if she did she didn't bother to read my journal entries. I hate when people I know in real life found out about my blog, cause this is like my real personal journal/diary thing that I write all my thoughts and feelings down. I really don't want to not write something because of some people are reading it. I should be able to write whatever I want in my own blog. I want to write for no one but myself. This is how I feel, but can I do it?
Anyway, this afternoon Vladi and I went to watch Kill Bill Vol.2. It was alright. Vol.2 was more story driven, yet the plot wasn't that interesting for a movie. It also wasn't as much action nor gory comparing to vol.1. But I'm not a big fan of the first one to begin with, so ya. After I came back from the movie, there was this psycho guy just poped up on my AIM and started talking shit to me. I've no idea who the fuck that was and I don't think I even know him. It was just messed up. I just hope that he would fuckin' leave me alone.
Tonight I went down to some beach in Santa Cruz with Vladi for a little bit. We bought a chemical log that supposed to last 4 hours and some marshmallow, and set up a little bonfire on the beach. No one else wanna go, so it was just me and Vladi. He has never had a bonfire since he moved here, so he wanted to have one real bad. It was fun, there were quite a few people having bonfire on the beach tonight.
I saw some gay kids there. Their bonfire was pretty close to ours. These two dudes were cuddling sitting around their bonfire with one other friend. I was a bit envy. I wished I could go to the beach at night with someone I like and set up a bonfire and such. Don't you think that's romantic? Anyway, all I do is just sitting around wishing this and hoping that; I don't have the gut to do anything. I'm such a loser...
Well, remember I got Stephen's screen name on Wednesday? I've been talking to him online ths couple days. We just talked about random stuff. It didn't matter what we were talking about though, I was just happy talking to him. I even saved up all our conversations. But then he started talking about girls, and he was telling me about his ex-girlfriends and this new girl he met online and shit. Again, just like many other times before. I fall for a guy, and then I get to know more about him, and he turns out to be straight, and my hope vanishes. I should've known it already. How many times does it take me to learn? I even promised myself again and again that I wouldn't fall for anyone easily anymore. Yes, at first you got that tingling-warm feeling of liking someone, but so? Where does it lead you? Fuck it all. I give up and I don't care anymore. I guess I'm just searching for love in all the wrong places.
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April 24, Sat
+ In This Diary
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11:31 PM
First of all, I've great news! You know all the university in California are sending out admission notices to transfer students in late April? I've been waiting for mine but they never come and this coming week is like the last week of April, so I went online today and checked my application status. And I found out that I've been accepted into UCSD!! There was this semi-official online admission notice on the admission decision page in my applicant account. I was so excited that I couldn't believe it was happening. I guess I should get the official acceptance letter and package in the mail sometime this week. I've applied to three schools: UCLA, UCSD, and San Jose State. Among the three I only wanted to go to either UCLA or UCSD. SJSU was more like a backup school in case I didn't get in the first two. I haven't heard from UCLA yet, but I'm happy nevertheless.
Anyway, as you can see. I've put up a new layout. The last one was nice, but it was up for three months, so I guess it's time for a change. This layout didn't turn out as nice as I thought it would. This was inspired by a same-titled song by The Ataris. I've been listening to their music for a long time and they're one of my all time favorite bands. "In This Diary" is the song that got me hooked to them. It has such awesome lyrics. I've featured the lyrics on the layout, but if they're hard to read, I've also attached the lyrics in the extended section of this entry. Anyway, this layout is kinda plain and simple design wise. That was part of my intention also. Anyway, let me know what do you think about it, alright?
The Ataris - In This Diary
Here in this diary, I write you visions of my summer. It was the best I ever had. There were choruses and sing-alongs, and that unspoken feeling of knowing that right now is all that matters. All the nights we stayed up talking, listening to 80's songs, and quoting lines from all the movies that we love. It still brings a smile to my face. I guess when it comes down to it. Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up. These are the best days of our lives. The only thing that matters is just following your heart, and eventually you'll finally get it right. Breaking into hotel swimming pools, and wreaking havoc on our world. Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time. The blacktop singing me to sleep. Lighting fireworks in parking lots illuminate the blackest nights. Cherry cokes under the moonlit summer sky. 2015 River Side, it's time to say goodbye. Get on the bus. It's time to go.
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April 26, Mon
+ Super Hot Weather
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09:22 PM
These two days were really hot. The weather is so hot that you don't feel like doing anything at all. So that was what I did yesterday, laying around doing basically nothing. Well, at least I stopped thinking about Stephen. So ya, I guess I've gotten over him now. I mean, I still wanna be with him and everything, but at least I've accepted the fact that he's straight and there's no way we can be together. Do you guys ever feel desperate for love after being single for so long? Like you've the urge to just fall in love with someone, anyone 'cause you're so sick and tired of being alone? I guess I'm kinda having that feeling right now, like I don't care who it is anymore as long as there's someone beside me supporting me. How come I'm always the one who have crushes on other people? Sometimes I wonder is there anyone out there who has ever had a crush on me. Seriously, I've hardly thought about the possibility of that.
Anyway, today was even hotter than yesterday. I went to my Calculus class and Stephen was really friendly and talkative, and I just wanna freakin' yell at him "Don't tempt me! I just got over you!" Well, it's not like he know anything about me liking him and stuff. So I guess it's not his fault. I don't know, liking someone is a weird emotion. On one hand you like them, but on the other hand you hate them for not liking you back... Alright, I seriously have no idea what I just wrote. This journal entry is bizarre. This is what hot weather make people do... bizarre things. Well, I better shut up and get started on a English paper that's due tomorrow.
Thanks for everyone who commented on my new layout. Here's a special plugs to you all: Akasha Cathy Dave Jackie Joshie Lee Lei Mike Peter Sammas Scott Tashie Skindy Trent
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April 27, Tue
+ Sweet Fansign From Scott
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10:43 PM
Yeah. I got this super sweet fansign from Scott. He is so sweet and I love him dearly!
The temperature has remained high today. It was like boiling. I went to school at 11am and stayed there until 5pm to study for my Calculus exam that's tomorrow. Stephen was there also until 4pm. I got most of my stuff down, and I feel pretty confident about the exam. I took a 3 hour nap from 6 to 9pm tonight 'cause it was just too hot. Hot weather makes people tired and lazy.
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April 28, Wed
+ Cooling Down
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11:23 PM
Last several days were so hot that it wasn't even funny. Usually I wear a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants to sleep. Last two nights I slept only with my boxers on, and still it was way too hot for me to get comfortable enough to fall sleep. It stayed hot even at night, so I left the window open and the blinds up trying to get some air flowing. But then my bed is right beside the window, and in the morning the noise from the freeway and the hot sun beaming down on me woke me up so freakin' early. I thought I was gonna die from the heat. Well, luckily the temperature has gone down a bit today. It wasn't as hot during the day and the night has definitely cooled down as well.
Anyway, enough whining about the weather. I should be grateful that I'm living in sunny California. So, today I woke up at around 12pm, and got to school at around 2pm to go through some materials before my Calculus exam at 2:30pm. The exam turned out easier than I expected, but I'm sure I've made some minor mistakes here and there, so I'm not looking for a super high grade or anything, but other than that I feel pretty confident about it. After the class, Stephen and I went to the college cafeteria for dinner, because we both had a night class from 6pm to 9pm tonight. I hardly eat at the cafeteria at my college because their food suck and there aren't much selections to begin with anyway. During the dinner, we had a nice conversation going on. You know how sometimes when you hang out with some people you guys have nothing to talk about, but with other people you can just keep on talking forever? Well, Stephen and I are like the second type. We basically talked about anything that came to our minds. At one point he was telling me about all these Geology stuff (since he's an Earth Science major), and I just sat there and stared at him. Gosh, I wished I could kiss him right there real bad. I don't know why but we got really close in this past week. We started chatting on AIM, and I burned him a couple CDs, and he's gonna burn me some CDs too, and we hung out together at school quite a bit (usually just for Calculus homework and stuff). It's somewhat a torture hanging out with a person you can never have though. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with him... It's just... such a dilemma.
Anyway, tonight I don't have any homework, or at least nothing due tomorrow, so I made a few fansigns for Amanda, Karen, Joshie, and Scott. All the fansigns are in the fansigns section, so you can go check them out if you want. Want a fansign from me? Be nice to me and I'll make you one. LOL :D
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April 30, Fri
+ Bought More CDs
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11:12 PM
Yesterday afternoon I went to downtown Santa Cruz after my class. I bought Inspection 12's new CD Get Rad at Borders for $13. Basically I just spent most of the time there at the magazine stands checkin' out all kinds of magazines. I also bought 4 other CDs at this used record store. They had this sale thing going on that if you buy 3 used CDs you get one free. So I got MxPx's Let It Happen, No Use For A Name's More Betterness, Apirl Sixth's Mariposa Ave, and The Moffatts's Chapter 1: A New Beginning. The first two are like punk CDs. Apirl Sixth is a Christian rock band, and The Moffatts is just teen pop. I got all four CDs for $14. Pretty good deal, huh? I've ripped most of the CDs onto my iPod except the No Use For A Name one.
Last night Vladi and I played some PS2 games until 2am in the morning. I hadn't played any video games for so long, and Vladi totally kicked my butt! I suck at playing video games; it usually took me longer to pick up the game than other people. Oh well, we had a great time though.
Since I didn't go to bed until 3:30am this morning, I woke up at like 2pm this afternoon. How could I sleep that much? I've absolutely no idea either. I was planning on doing my Java Programming homework today just to get it over with, but then I ended up talking to people online and wasted my entire day. At night I was checking out all these slashes on the internet. I think I'm addicted to those Harry Potter slashes now. Tonight I also had a nice conversation with Jenny. She's Vladi's girlfriend. We talked quite a bit online 'cause she's an artist as well and we have so many common interests. She checked out my site and made me a fansign, which is so nice and sweet of her.
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