|
June 11, Sat
+ Summer is Finally Here
|
11:46 AM
So, school is finally over. I had my last final exam on Monday and a final film project presentation on Tuesday. The exam on Monday was for my Interdisciplinary Computing and the Arts: Current Practice class, and I don't think I did too well. But I thought my mid-term for that class was bad but it turned out I got a 90%, so hopefully I didn't do too bad on my final. The final project for my film class was bad though. I did a documentary/essay film on same-sex marriage, and I stayed up all night the night before to put it all together. Definitely not the best work I could give. Oh well, I'm just glad that it's all over and done with now.
Jen has graduated and she's moving back home to go to grad school in Irvine. She had been moving stuff back last several days. She bought a new computer back home and I went to Orange County with her on Wednesday to help her setup everything. This was an awesome year, and I'm very glad I met Jen. She's an awesome person and a wonderful friend. She's one of the few best friends I have here in San Diego, so hopefully we will be keeping in touch.
Jen drove me back to San Diego yesterday, and instead of going into work, I helped Kiet move out of his dorm and into his temporary apartment with Robbie close to downtown San Diego. I said temporary because they're trying to find a place closer to UCSD before school starts again. So, there're going to be some more movings. I will be moving into Dan's apartment in La Jolla probably the first week of July, because the least at my current place is not up until the second week of July and that way it will give me a week of time to move stuff out.
Last night we had an end-of-the-year party at Luke's. Quite a few people were there. I didn't drink a lot, but I was very happy to see everyone though. Hideki got really drunk and was being really loud. I had never seen him that drunk before, so it was funny. Kiet spent the night at my place 'cause he needs to work today and it would take him a long time to drive back from his new place down south. Plus Jen sold him her bed, so his new bed is still up here at my place. So it was easier just for him to spend a night up here.
This summer break is going to be a busy one for me. I will be working at the LGBT Resource Center at school. I have planned two trips: one to Denver for the national convention for Delta Lambda Phi, and the other one to Boston with Shawn to visit his family and check out the East Coast. Well, at least I know I will be enjoying it.
|
June 13, Mon
+ Too Many Movies
|
02:02 AM
Saturday afternoon Dan, Stephen, Luke, Shawn, Hide, and I went to Hamburger Mary's for the first time. It was okay. The sandwich was actually fairly large and pretty good, only if the bun wasn't moldy. Yes, they gave me a sandwich with moldy bun, so I got my next meal for free. I guess it wasn't that good after all. Afterward Shawn and his boyfriend Gary, Hide, and I went to a movie and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith. A unique movie; something different; probably first of its kind. I'm sure similar movies will start popping up soon enough. After the movie I was just going to go home but they convinced me to have a sleepover at Shawn's. We bought some snacks and stayed up all night watching some more movies. We watched The Last Samurai and The Day After Tomorrow, and ended up falling asleep at around 6:00 in the morning. Woke up at around 2:00 Sunday afternoon, met up with Dan, had brunch and went to another movie. We watched Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith, and it's actually quite good comparing to the last two. Afterward went back to Shawn's condo, had our weekly frat meeting, and then headed back to La Jolla for Chris' surprise graduation party. I didn't know that hanging out with friends and having fun could be that tiring sometimes.
I thought I was getting over the whole crush-on-Kiet thing, until stupid Shawn and Hide actually told me that I was bad at hiding my feeling and my actions were totally obvious, and even suggested that Kiet knows. The idea has never came across my mind and it unsettles me. Kiet and I started hanging out more and more, and consequently getting closer and closer as friends. The fact that he would ever suspect me liking him scares me... a lot. I wasn't expecting that. Of course I couldn't control my feelings, but I thought I hid them well, at least from him. I don't know why the idea of him knowing bothers me so much. Perhaps because I'm afraid that it might hurt our friendship? Or maybe I resent him for continuing to hang out with me while he knows that I like him? Or maybe secretly I'm angry at him for letting me make myself look like a fool in front of him? I know it's confusing and contradicting, but that's how I feel right now. On one hand, I hate seeing and hanging out with him while knowing that I can never have him; on the other hand, I value him as a friend and enjoy the time we spent together. Relationship is a bitch, even when I'm not in one... Well, I should just go to sleep. When I wake up tomorrow, everything will be better. It always does...
|
June 14, Tue
+ Yesterday was...
|
11:27 AM
Yesterday was relatively relaxing comparing to the weekend. In the afternoon, I went to the post office to send out application for DLP for the parade in this year's San Diego Pride. Got a call from Hide saying he and his friend, Matt wanted to hangout. Matt is a San Diego local, but went away to Washington D.C. for college, so he's back for the summer and would like to meet more gay people in San Diego to hangout. After I got back, I came up with a few logo designs for the Vernon Awards, which is an award ceremony DLP holds every year to honor (not so much honoring, some are just for fun) various brothers in our chapter.
I got an email from Debbi, the one who hired me at the LGBT Resource Center at school, and we're going to have a meeting this Friday to setup my work schedule for the summer. I'm very excited. Like, I just can't stand staying home having nothing to do, while everyone else is working. Well, Kiet called me this morning telling me he wants to hangout. Of course I immediately said yes. I'm just glad that we finally have a chance to hangout since he has been working everyday ever since school is out.
|
June 16, Thu
+ Bittersweet Symphony
|
10:08 PM
Last couple days I have been hanging out with Kiet. Tuesday afternoon we ran a few errands, had Vietnamese food for lunch, went to this boba place, and then picked out a video game, Champions of Norrath: Return to Arms right before we headed back to his place. And basically that's what we had been doing these past few days -- playing video game. So, how was it? It was great and torturing. It was great because it was with Kiet. It was torturing because I don't know how I could subject myself to such hell. I know I've talked about this a million times before. I don't understand myself and I'm confused. I know for a fact that Kiet is dating Phil, and he doesn't like me the way I like him. Every single time when we were hanging out just us two, I felt so happy and I really enjoyed his company, but it just makes me hurt even more to know that I can never have him. So everytime I kept telling myself that I wouldn't hangout with Kiet anymore, at least not as much. But whenever he called me; whenever I heard his personal ringtone; whenever I heard his voice; whenever he asked me to hangout, I just couldn't help myself from saying yes, every single time! Kiet had work this afternoon, so he dropped me off at my place before work and asked if I wanted to hangout again tonight and beat the game with him, I finally said no... I gave him a lame reason saying that because I've an appointment with Debbi from the LGBT Resource Center tomorrow morning to work out my work schedule for the summer and that I need to get some rest tonight. I felt so bad; it was so hard to say no to Kiet. But I did it and I thought "okay... good, if I stop hanging out with him I'll get over him eventually." Then he called me tonight when he got off work "just to say hi". My heart just melted and I asked him if he want to hangout again tomorrow... I know... Deep inside I know that I shouldn't hangout with him 'cause I know I will just bitch about it afterward, but at the same time I just want to be with him. I don't know how this is going to end. I really think I should just tell him how I really feel and so he would stop hanging out with me. But last week Shawn and Hide told me that Kiet might have known already since "he's not stupid", then why does he continue to hangout with me? I don't get it... I just need this to stop, and I know I can't stop it myself. I'm just digging deeper and deeper each day...
|
June 24, Fri
+ A Hectic Weekend
|
02:22 PM
The meeting with Debbi last Friday went well, I turned in my paperwork this Tuesday, and I'll be starting working at the LGBT Resource Center this coming Monday. We've all these great plans and ideas for the Resource Center's new website. I just hope that I can hold up all Debbi's expectations and won't let her down. The weekend was hectic 'cause we went clubbing at The Flame Friday night, and we needed to wake up at 9am on Saturday morning to help Stephen pack and move to Anaheim. That took up the whole day and we didn't get back to San Diego until 10 at night. Then we had the Lock-In for the frat that night and we stayed up all night, and we had our community service for Mama's Kitchen Sunday morning. We were all dead tired by Sunday afternoon.
I was working on some logo designs for the frat for Vernon Awards earlier this week, then I got the merch page done for Airman Basic on Wednesday. Then last night Kiet and I came up with this master information list for all members of the frat. These are basically the few productive things I've done this week. I really need to get on with the T-shirt design for the frat. I've been pushing that off for quite some time now.
Monday night Hide, Shawn Freeman, Dan, Kiet, Diego, Frank, and I went to this older gay couple's house to have dinner, 'cause they donated some money to the frat awhile back, and we wanted to show our appreciation so we went and cooked dinner and hung out with them. It was a great night; I really enjoyed it. Tuesday night Dan, Shawn Freeman, and I started our Queer As Folk marathon starting from season 1. Well, we're now on episode 3... we'll see how long it is going to take us to catch up to the current episode.
|
